Orange County Divorce Mediation

Category Archives: Orange County Divorce

Coparenting Your Children During Divorce and Afterwards

Posted on by Posted in Child Custody & Visitation, Coparenting, Orange County Divorce

In a divorce, your world is changing. For your children, the world as they know it is ending. Their mother and father are now living separately and they are shuttled back and forth for visitation with each parent. Mom and Dad no longer talk, and if they do, it’s an argument, usually about the children. It is no picnic for anyone, but least of all for your children. When you are having trouble parenting your children with your ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse, remember that you see the issues from your perspective, the other parent from their own perspective, and your children experience the whole situation from yet another.

To minimize the stress, anxiety, and friction of raising your children in separate households, parents should work on communicating with each other and finding compromise. You might ask, if we were so great at communicating, maybe we would not have broken up. Water under the bridge. The communication you need now is centered around your children and their needs. Try to keep the personality conflicts out of it.

If you do not know where to begin with co-parenting, try attending a co-parenting class. In Orange County, California, there are many providers of co-parenting classes, such as Kids’ First and FACES. You can also contact the family law facilitator’s office with the court for a referral. Take the class, and afterwards, if you and your former partner need to work more on your co-parenting, there are many psychologists who can help you with these issues. Psychologists will also serve as sounding boards for some of the disputes that arise in co-parenting. Sometimes one person is completely unreasonable, and a good psychologist will not hesitate to point out an unreasonable position and help the parties find a compromise.

Good co-parenting is crucial to raising your children well during and after your divorce. The courts are filled with people who cannot effectively co-parent. These people must spend money on attorneys and come to court to ask a judge (a virtual stranger) to make parenting decisions because the parents cannot do it for themselves. It is a better investment for the parties to work on their own co-parenting skills than to give their attorneys repeat business every time they cannot agree on a parenting issue. Read a book, take a class, attend co-parenting therapy, and learn to work together.

Why Date of Separation is Important in a California Divorce

Posted on by Posted in Divorce Process, Marital Property Division, Orange County Divorce

Most divorcing parties can agree on when they separated.  Maybe there was an event that was “the last straw” and one party demanded a divorce, or the parties cannot remember an exact date but know within a week or so when there was an irremediable breakdown in the marriage.  For some divorcing spouses, however, it is not so easy to determine the date of marriage.  Sometimes the parties simply cannot pinpoint the exact date they separated and they are too stubborn to agree on a date.  More often, however, the disagreement is really about money.

Because California is a community property state, parties will continue to acquire community property (assets and debts) while they are still married.  If the parties separate one day and the next day one of them wins a million dollars in the lottery, chances are there is going to be litigation over the date of separation because there is half a million dollars riding on the outcome.  Of course, it works in reverse, too.  If the parties are separated, generally the debts incurred by a party after date of separation are that party’s separate property.  It becomes a way for some to try to avoid paying their fair share of community debts.

Another reason why date of separation is so important in a California divorce is that spousal support for short term marriages is generally due for half the duration of the marriage.  When the couple reaches that magic number 10, their marriage is generally considered to be a long term marriage, with spousal support due indefinitely.  So the date of separation can be a point of contention for parties on the cusp of a long term marriage.  Of course, even short term marriages can hotly contest the issue – duration of support is a good motivator.

If you and your spouse believe you can come to an amicable divorce settlement with a little help from an Orange County divorce mediator  give us a call or contact us through our website.

Dividing a Business in an Orange County California Divorce

Posted on by Posted in California Divorce Process, Divorce Mediation, Orange County Divorce, Property Division

How to divide a family business can be one of the most complex property issues in a California divorce.  The business represents not only the livelihood of one or both parties, but often is a significant asset of the marriage.

Who Should Get the Business?

Usually, the party who actually runs the business is awarded it.  During the pendency of the divorce, however, the spouse who runs the business (called the “in spouse”) may keep terrible income records or actually manage it poorly so that it appears less valuable.  Such tactics could be considered a breach of fiduciary duty to the spouse who does not run the business (the “out spouse”).  A good divorce attorney with the aid of a forensic accountant may be able to determine the value of such breaches and charge the breaching party with the resulting loss to the community, often by using an alternate valuation date to some time before the bad acts took place.  There’s a moral in there somewhere.

Another issue that often comes up is when one party owned the business before marriage.  If he or she did not have enough foresight to have the parties sign a prenuptial agreement assuring the business remains separate property, then some portion of the business will probably be owned by the community.  This is because the labor of the parties during marriage is considered to be a community asset.  It can be a complicated analysis to determine the separate property versus community property interests in a business.  Generally parties seek the help of forensic accountants to do this.

If one spouse gets the business, the other spouse will be awarded the value of half of the community’s interest in the business.  Often businesses are quite valuable and a large marital asset, such as the family residence, could be used to offset the value on the marital balance sheet to make the property division a fair one.  If there are not sufficient assets, then often the equalization payment can be financed and appropriately secured.

Sometimes both spouses are equally involved in the business.  If they are fortunate enough to be able to continue to work together amicably without damaging the business, then they may opt to continue to work together after the divorce.  They would simply continue to be business partners (and still owe each other the duties business partners owe each other).  Alternately, one spouse may wish to buy out the other spouse for a fair price.  If no agreements can be made, then the decision will be left up to the court, who may decide to award it to one spouse entirely or to sell the business and divide the value equitably.

How Do You Know What the Business is Worth?

Valuing a family business in a divorce is another difficult issue.  If there is enough money available, the spouses usually use a forensic accountant who will go through the business accounting records, banking records, and tax returns for a certain time period and then make an opinion as an expert as to what the value is.  Often there is a cash flow analysis done, which may be used to help determine alimony and child support issues that may exist between the parties.  If a forensic accountant cannot be utilized for some reason, then business brokers or the parties themselves may give evidence as to the value of the business.  Obviously the Court may be inclined to be a little skeptical of any opinions of value a party might offer without substantial corroboration from the business records.

Can You Mediate the Division of a Family Business?

If the parties have sufficient knowledge of the value and cash flow of the family business, it is possible to mediate a fair property division and support order.  Often businesses that both parties agree have little value are no obstacle to mediating a fair property division.  Sometimes a family business is little more than a job that one party owns.  One approach may be to use a forensic accountant in the mediation.  Although forensic accountants typically work with divorce lawyers in litigating issues of value and cash flow, there is no reason the parties cannot retain a joint forensic accountant to investigate the business and determine its value and cash flow and then use the valuation report in their own negotiations.  A forensic investigation of a business, however, usually takes a considerable amount of time and the divorce mediation may be “on hold” with the parties unable to finalize the property division in their divorce until the report is complete.  If parties choose this approach, they may be able to make temporary agreements about support or any other issue while waiting for the valuation report and negotiating a final resolution of their divorce.

Orange County Child Custody Mediation

Posted on by Posted in Child Custody & Visitation, Divorce Mediation, Orange County Divorce

The hardest thing about going through divorce has got to be dividing the children. Of course you can’t divide them a la King Solomon, but you can divide the time they spend with each parent. The cardinal rule in determining the timeshare that each parent will have is called the “best interests of the child” rule. That is the one principle that courts apply universally in any Orange County child custody case.

In a child custody case, it is sometimes quite simple to determine what is in the best interests of the child. One parent might be abusive or an uncontrolled alcoholic or drug addict. Obviously, that can’t be a good thing for a child. As long as sufficient evidence is shown, the abusive parent may not get a large timeshare, or may even be subject to monitored visitation in order to protect the children. Time (and therapy) heals all wounds, and even a parent who initially has minimal or monitored visitation can gradually increase his or her timeshare, provided it is in the best interests of the children.

The more difficult custody situations are often where both parents are involved with the children and are positive influences in the children’s lives, but circumstances, such as long distances or other logistical problems keep the parties from coming to a balanced timeshare. Sometimes one parent ends up having a greater timeshare during the school year and makes up time in the summer. More often, the solutions are not perfect, and one parent “loses out” by having considerably less time with the children than does the other parent. Unfortunately, it is an “either or” situation where one parent “wins” and the other parent “loses,” and, although it is probably a close call, the children can only live primarily in one place when a daily or weekly commute is just not possible. This typically happens in “move away” cases.

For most parents, especially those who choose to mediate their custody issues, keeping the best interests of their children in mind (and not necessarily what is most convenient for the parent) helps tremendously when negotiating over child custody and visitation, and working out a parenting plan.

If you have Orange County child custody and visitation issues, either in a divorce, a paternity action, or a post-judgment modification of visitation, why not try using mediation to negotiate a stipulated custody order before you file in court?

Child custody mediation may help to keep matters civil between parents, too. All too often, when filing for a court order, the supporting declaration filed by one parent only serves to inflame the other parent and put them in a fighting frame of mind, which lowers the possibility of negotiating a settlement out of court. Better if the parents try mediation before filing any request for court orders to attempt to negotiate a solution and avoid hard feelings that may come about from the inevitable mudslinging that occurs in court.

Avoiding the High Cost of Divorce in Orange County

Posted on by Posted in Divorce FAQs, Orange County Divorce

For many people, the shock of being served with divorce papers is followed by an even greater shock when they find out what it will cost them to hire a divorce lawyer.  The initial shock is generally followed by a lesser (or bigger) “after shock” each month when they get the bill.

There are some options to controlling your divorce costs.  Many people opt for the “do it yourself” method, or they hire a document preparer and try to stay out of court.  These approaches may work well if there are truly no issues and the parties understand the nature and extent of their property and other issues.  Divorce mediation is another option.  A skilled divorce mediator can assist the parties in identifying and resolving the unique issues in their divorce and then help them prepare their own negotiated marital settlement agreement and cost only a fraction of what a divorce attorney might charge either party.

If indeed you decide it is best for you to hire a family law attorney to represent you in your divorce, remember they are not all the same.  Many of these gunslingers enjoy a good fight, and are only too happy to brawl on your dime.  They may be intentionally contentious in their dealings with opposing counsel just to force matters to be litigated.  Others are negotiators who may go to court only when matters cannot be settled, most are somewhere in between.  Be sure you know what kind of attorney you are hiring, as it may save you money in your divorce.

When doing the divorce accounting, do not forget to figure yourself into the equation.  While an attorney’s overly aggressive tactics may be a source of high divorce costs, an unreasonable party can be even more to blame.  Taking unreasonable or extreme positions that cannot be compromised forces you to litigate the issue.  The more you go to court, the more your divorce will cost.  Also, the level of contention has a big effect on the cost of your divorce.  If you  are busy adding fuel to the fire, the divorce price tag only goes up.  So try to bury some of those old bones of contention.